I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
