We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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