In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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