please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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