i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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