I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
