There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
