i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
