Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
4 words: hood of his car
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
