i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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