but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
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You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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