she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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