I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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