doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
