Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
