Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
