What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
