Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
