Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
