it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
