Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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