what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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