PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
