Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
