i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm having to shit out rocks
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
