Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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