I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
