Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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