Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
