she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
