I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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