Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
