I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
