my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
