I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
