There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
