i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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