Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
