My friends, they love my intelligence
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
