I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
