Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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