Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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