i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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