omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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