Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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