found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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