How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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