oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
