TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
