put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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