Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wrigley field is MILF paradise
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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