Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize