I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
