She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
