remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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