I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
