I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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