That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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