who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Randomize
