Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
