I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Everclear isn't food dammit
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
